It’s interesting for me how I can get caught up in certain moments in life and totally miss anything else. I don’t mean this in a positive way. I can recall two specific periods during the last 4 years where I was so deep submerged with solving a problem that, in retrospective, I wouldn’t say I enjoyed living. I stopped reading, I was absent at social interactions, I was anxious. All because I wanted to fix those problems and get them out of the way as soon as possible. I don’t talk about a week or two, I talk about being in this state for three months. And saying I want to fix something as soon as possible and spending three months on it doesn’t seem like a good idea when ignoring your health and all the other things that you normally would enjoy. Also I don’t think only spending time on that one problem wasn’t that effective. I remember sometimes sitting in front of the computer and thinking about how I could solve a certain problem without making any real progress. That whole pressure I put upon myself stunted me. It would have been more wise to define a certain time during the day to work on it. But of course, we are always wiser afterwards. Or are we? The reason why I write this down is because after reading the chapter “Alive time or dead time?” by Ryan Holiday’s new book Ego is the Enemy is that I realized those months I spent on solving those problems were mostly dead time. Life is too short to spent it ruthlessly. So this note should help me remind me of that.

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